Beauty

Beauty....

When I think about Beauty i think of the sunsets, the ocean, my family, my husband, babies that are innocent and have not yet been influenced by the world....

Beauty is all around us, yet so often we fail to see it or look for it....i believe that many times if we would stop and breathe in our surroundings we would recognize it more often.  

love in its full force is beauty.....
a newborn baby placed on a mother's chest at his first breath of life is beauty....
a childs random smile is beauty...
a kiss followed by arms being thrown around your neck from a two year old is beauty....
the tears of my husband is beauty....
the help of my husband when i feel lousy is beauty....
the warmth of a hug from a friend that you have not seen in years is beauty....
memories of my grandfather is beauty....
the waves in the ocean is beauty....
the sun setting beyond the horizon is beauty....
the knowledge that no matter what I do or how I act He still loves me unconditionally is true beauty....

happiness....
that's the first word of the new year....
I have to literally choose happiness each day my eyes open, for me it is a challenge....why it is so hard for me to do i will not ever understand....sure I feel that if I do xyz then my life will be better, but then I question myself, will it really? Happiness is a choice, a daily, minute by minute choice....its maddening really....why should I not be happy? God has brought me through some pretty tumultuous valleys....ive been married to my soul mate for 18 years....i have seven, yes seven, beautiful, healthy children....i finally am in my own house....
for me I place my happiness in my husband, if we are good, I am happy....if we are fighting, I am a mess....
happiness, where along the way did I lose it?