I find it interesting that I want to title this post giving up as it correlates with our 21 day fast, giving up something or fasting and my first five this morning is about surrending, coming to Jesus....
I don't understand why it is so hard to "feel" Jesus....I have never been one to be completely into Jesus. During times of drought, He showed up in a big way, I definitely felt His presence.....yet now as I am in the normal throws of life, I don't "feel" Him.....yet I have these random moments where He gives me a task and I know it is Him because of the way I feel, yet it amazes me because at the time I feel so disconnected from God...
Jesus says, come to me if you're thirsty....well I have been thirsty for some time and have literally put Jesus on a back burner...I need to get Him off and allow Him to fill these empty places in my heart....I know He can and will, but do I believe it, really believe that He has the capability of drawing me out of this pit....do I want Him to? Have I become so comfortable in my "misery" that I would rather stay there for fear of what He will allow to happen....
No one changes overnight, i haven't changed in years....it's comfortable where I am, it's easy, but yet it leaves me angry, isolated and almost depressed....
So giving up for me wouldn't require any huge sacrifice, just persistence on my end and heartfelt repentance....
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