What's the deal

What's the deal, why is this so hard, why am I making this so hard....
Why am I so angry, tired and just done?  What gives....
Between teenagers and toddlers I am spent....I am in a complaining mood too often....I want to pull my hair out....
I read articles or hear advice of when moms get in these tight places, these moods....but in all of them it is not daily or every few hours, it's every once in awhile...this too shall pass, why is not passing....
Jesus, jesus, jesus, please help me, why aren't you helping me?
Why is it for the last two weeks I have been consistent with getting up, exercising daily, changing my eationg habits, even lost 5 pounds, but I still feel worn out and exhausted physically, mentally and spiritually, what gives!!??
My husband is amazing and is taking me away for 3 nights, much needed and much appreciated.....but all I can think about is leaving my mom with these kids and having to come back and face reality, joking how I'm not coming back, yet am I joking....in my heart no, I'm just done....
I pray this time away helps because I need rejuvenated....I am tired of feeling like this....